You're not just the messenger.

Helping someone you love through the decision to stop driving is one of the harder conversations in a family. This page provides information to support you with this change, including advice about when to have conversations, questions to guide conversations, practical ways you can help, and looking after yourself along the way.

Age itself is not what determines someone’s capacity to drive safely – it is their driving ability. Evidence shows having discussions with loved ones has a more positive impact on wellbeing if the conversation comes from a place of concern, not an attempt to force them to stop driving.

Thriving Without Driving · ACU

Knowing when to have discussions.

To help understand how your loved one may be feeling about driving and the things they need to consider, we recommend you complete our Thriving Without Driving interactive learning yourself. While these are aimed at the person considering retiring from driving, it may be useful for you to understand more about what they may be going through.

Changes in vision, hearing, reflexes, physical strength, medication, and alcohol use can all impact ability to drive safely. Keeping an eye on these factors can be useful in deciding if there is cause for concern.

There is a range of information available about how to support your loved one in their retirement from driving. This article by Carers’ Circle provides some useful things to consider before having a conversation with your loved one about their driving.

Baptcare also has an article for things to consider about a loved one’s driving.

Questions to guide the conversation.

The South Australia Department of Planning, Transport and Infrastructure have developed a useful resource of conversation tips for having discussions with loved ones about driving retirement. There are also a conversation planner and conversation follow up documents, which provide further advice to consider in preparation for discussions and for following up after initial discussions.

Practical ways to help.

There are a range of things you can do to support retiring drivers. We know that retiring from driving can be a big life change, and providing support through this change is important.

A major factor in retiring from driving is the loss of independent mobility. If you can support your loved one by providing reliable transport to help get around, they are more likely to stop driving. Additionally, if you can assist them in exploring alternative transport options (maybe for the first time), this will help them to see how they can get around without relying on others for a ride. See our Alternative transport section for more information about getting around the ACT without driving.

There are a range of technologies that can help to reduce the amount of driving that is required, such as grocery deliveries and rideshare apps. Helping loved ones to learn how to use these technologies can be a useful way of supporting their transition from driving. See our Alternatives to transport section for some ideas about these technologies.

You're carrying this too.

It is also very important to acknowledge that supporting a person who is retiring from driving and having conversations can be stressful. This is normal, as conversations about change can often bring up strong feelings and different opinions.

For an adult child discussing stopping driving with their parent, there may be aspects of role transitions taking place. For some, this leads to an increase of quality time together, and a sense of welcomed connection. For others, this can feel like the older adult, the one who has been responsible for most decisions, stepping back and being forced to accept things they don’t choose. Whatever the context of the person you care about and their relationship to stopping driving, it is important that you take the time to have lots of conversations together, to not rush to solutions too quickly, and to also look after yourself, recognising that change can be stressful in surprising ways.

Reporting to Access Canberra

Sometimes concerns will persist even after having multiple discussions with loved ones. Encourage them to seek professional assistance and assessment, and support them as best you can. If you have serious concerns about someone’s ability to continue to be a safe driver, you have the option of reporting this to Access Canberra via email (rusmedicals@act.gov.au) or phone (13 22 81). This will prompt Access Canberra to complete further assessment.